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As a person, I’ve been through a lot and have had to make some difficult decisions. One of the things I’ve been thinking about lately is how we take action in our lives. We make progress on the things we devote time and energy to… when we feel out of balance, many times it’s due to us not consistently allocating resources to the things we need to get back into balance.
For me, I think one of the looming issues I have is having crucial conversations with key family members. The problem is, however, that I don’t want to go into these situations without some sort of plan so I avoid them altogether. I truly believe that the issues within my family can be reduced down to issues with psychological flexibility.
What I would love is for everyone to read about it and complete one of the self-help workbooks… it may not solve everything, but it will get the basic information into the hands of more people. This is definitely a place to start in terms of dissemination.
I’ve developed a script NOT TO USE – this is an example of the WRONG way to approach this type of conversation. I’m putting this here as a conversation starter – how would you approach this situation in a way that would be much more values-driven, caring and compassionate?
“I’m glad I finally realize who you are and what you value as a person. Knowing what I know about you based on your words and actions towards others and myself, has finally made me realize I’m better off without you in my life at this time. I will not allow you to continue hurting me and the people I love. I truly wish nothing but the best for you and hope that one day you develop the psychological flexibility skills that would support you on your path toward creating more peace in your life. I will always love you, but first and foremost I need to love myself. This is me taking action to create more peace in my own life.”
How could you approach this conversation in a way that would MAXIMIZE the potential of the person responding in the manner you would prefer (i.e., learning more about PF)?